Art of Influence

#22 04/30/2023

Photo by Kasia Derenda on Unsplash

This is an excerpt of the course “Fundamentals of Influence” by Gina Grahame. Check out more programs at https://www.thegisc.com/

Below are some of the dimensions you should think about when you are trying to influence a person or a group of people to get something done for you. On the personal front this could be about asking for a raise, promotion, or a new opportunity. On the product front this could be about selling your idea, convincing others about a design, or pitching a new product proposal.

Build Relationships:

People do business with people they KNOW, LIKE, or TRUST. So, before you are trying to influence someone, build a relationship so that they get to know you, like you or trust you.

Know Your Audience:

Before talking to your audience, be clear on your intent. Ask yourself what is that you are trying to ask the audience to do, what is your call to action or what is that you want your audience to remember. Being clear on the intent helps you craft your message in a succinct way.

Your message and intent is not about “I have something to say”, but rather it’s “I have something you need to hear”. It’s not about you, it’s about them.

Build Credibility:

• Nervous Energy: If you are nervous, then the audience will feel the nervousness. Be relaxed and control your nervous energy

• Hand Gestures: Keep your hands visible and relaxed.

• Eye Contact: Keep the eye contact both when delivering good or bad news. One trick is to keep your eyes focused on other person’s eye brows which takes away the discomfort of looking into eyes continuously.

• Leaning In: Having a body posture leaning into the audience gives an impression you are trying to connect and is interested in their opinion

• Chair Height: If you are talking sitting down, always keep your chair position so that you are at the chin height to the other person.

Art of Influence:

• Honesty: Be honest in your delivery and message. Audience can detect how honest you are with the information you are sharing

• Listen first, speak last: It’s not about how much air time you took, it’s about did you listen to the conversation and shared an honest opinion

• Authenticity: Be authentic. Bring your own self in presenting the information

• Avoid Upspeak/Uptalk: This is about saying your sentences as if they need approval or indicate self doubt in those sentence. It’s about ending the sentence with questions or tone of questions?

• Short sentences: Short sentences are always better than long. It gives opportunity to pause and let the audience absorb the message.

• Writing short: Even in your writing, keep the sentence short and concise.

• Avoid “I’m Sorry”: Creating influence doesn’t need you to say I’m sorry. You are in the room because you earned it and deserve. You are decreasing your credibility by saying I’m sorry.

• Co-Create Solutions: Work with the audience questions to come up with solutions in real time. Do active listening.

Answering Questions:

• Encourage Questions: It helps you connect more intimately, extend the conversation and show off your expertise.

• Thank the user for asking the question.

• Rephrase the question, to understand and explore the intent behind the question

• Acknowledge audience’s concerns and listen to their pain points

• Dig deeper into the question by asking open ended questions

• Answer the question and STOP. Close your mouth and seal your lips!!. You want to avoid rambling, blabbering and repeating your answer multiple times.

• Common Pitfalls

  • Arguing with the client / audience

  • Answering too quickly - Add silence in the beginning which helps audience think that you gave some thought

  • Cutting off the question in mid sentence

  • Assigning motive for someone’s actions / questions

• Last but not least, prepare for questions ahead of time. Have a list of:

  • Questions you know they will ask

  • Questions you hope they will ask

  • Questions you hope they don’t ask